Coping with grief and bereavement: is therapy right for you?

Many people believe grief follows a set timeline, and that after a certain point you should be 'over it'. Grief doesn't work like that. It can come back years later, set off by an anniversary, a smell or another loss. There's no schedule to measure yourself against.

There are times, though, when grief is worth bringing to therapy. It might feel stuck, not easing at all or even getting harder. It might be affecting your work, your relationships or how you look after yourself. Or the loss might have been sudden or traumatic, or tangled up with difficult feelings such as guilt, anger or even relief, which can make it much harder to grieve alone.

Bereavement counselling isn't about 'getting over' a loss or reaching closure. It's about finding a way to carry the loss so it doesn't take over everything else, making room for grief alongside the rest of your life.

Often, that simply means having space to talk about the person you've lost: who they were, what they meant to you, and what's hardest now they're gone, without anyone rushing you or telling you how to feel. Where a death was traumatic, EMDR can also help with specific painful memories, such as being there when it happened or how you heard the news.

There's no right time to look for support after a loss. Some people get in touch within weeks. Others come years later, when they realise grief has been shaping their life for longer than they'd noticed.